I bought a Slaughterhouse-Five tshirt today because now if boys look at my chest area maybe they’ll think both “nice boobs” and “oh she’s well read”
Also because it was super soft, long enough that I could wear it with leggings, and easily transitional into pajamas, which is the requirement for all shirts I purchase.
In the past 4 months I’ve bought two pairs of Nikes. One all white pair (which are super fly) , and one pink and orange pair (also fly)…
One month after both of these Nike purchases the shoes have appeared on models on the JCrew website and catalogue, BASICALLY IM A TRENDSETTER.
The store I used to buy my blazers for Catholic school from is clearly stalking me and is envious of my sneaker choices.
So this happened.
Someone who I went to school with whose very lovely, and kind and well adjusted and an overall good person and sweet girl, got engaged (she’s older than me) and I was like “Oh thats nice” but then I was like “OH GOD AM I OLD? AM I ENTERING THAT STAGE IN MY TWENTIES WHERE EVERYONE I KNOW STARTS GETTING MARRIED AND I END UP LIKE KATHERINE HEIGL IN 27 DRESSES WHICH IS A TERRIBLE MOVIE AND I HONESTLY CAN’T BELIEVE ELTON JOHN WOULD ALLOW SUCH A TERRIBLE MOVIE TO USE HIS SONG BENNY AND THE JETS IM ONLY 20 AND A HALF THIS SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING”
But then I saw that someone else I went to school with got engaged, someone a year or so younger than me and after all the “Congrats” comments she commented "Thanks everyone, I promise this is real" and I was like "HA" but then I was like "She’s young, thats why no one thought it was real, I’m too young, people would wonder if my engagement was real too. Am I old enough where if I got engaged people wouldn’t ask of it was real or not? ALSO THE IDEA OF GETTING ENGAGED IS TERRIFYING IM NOT GONNA DO THAT ANYTIME SOON MOSTLY CAUSE ID NEED A MAN FIRST BUT ALSO CAUSE LIKE I CAN BARELY COMMIT TO THE THROW PILLOWS ON MY COUCH"
I just felt weird, like I’m in between something. The Britney Spears song “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” is basically my life right now and I’m not feeling it. Just like I didn’t feel that music video, she was in that dessert-ish, grand canyon-y, Arizona looking place and all I can think about when I see it is how terrible the heat must be there.
The people outside my window are partying (well theyre drunkenly screaming and laughing loudly so I’m assuming what they’re doing they would count as “partying”) and I’m trying to decide which Lego Architecture set to buy first.
FYI I am now accepting applications for a nice boy who would like to build a Lego model of Villa Savoye with me.